Friday, July 29, 2011

JJ Say 072911

Here's a couple of paragraphs from my in-progress tale of one man's unexplained interrogation, ON THE Y...

Burt moved behind me while Stanky sauntered into the darkness toward the door. Twisting to peer over my shoulder, I saw Burt press one of several buttons on the wall and the floor plate sealed the hole. Another button pushed, and chains coming from holes in the ceiling slowly lowered me into the grasps of the masked goons. They draped my arms over their shoulders. I struggled a little. Found I was weaker than I knew.

As Burt released me from the cuffs, each of the masks clutched one of my wrists and extended my arms. Burt grabbed my ankles and pulled forward. Walking backwards, he led the way and they toted me across the room – my arms stretched side to side like I was crucified; my body upright from head to butt, my legs and feet horizontal and in front of me. Squirming in this position did me no good, especially when Burt gripped my calves in his paws and locked my ankles between his upper-arms and flanks.

And so, I looked across the room, inspecting what awaited me.

Conan Clip 072811

Comedy bit... Good News: NFL lockout ends; gay marriage begins.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Jasper Say 072811

Opportunity knocks when the mind is ready for the opportunity, which is why complacency and stagnation of the mind will lessen the frequency of opportunities.

Conan Clip 072711

Comedy bit... Mrs. Butterworth, The Movie

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Gertrude Stein

Originally posted by Elisa Rolle at her top-notch blog, My Reviews and Ramblings.

Gertrude Stein, the youngest of a family of five children, was born on February 3, 1874, in Allegheny, Pennsylvania (merged with Pittsburgh in 1907) to well-educated German Jewish parents, Daniel and Amelia Stein. Her father was a railroad executive whose investments in streetcar lines and real estate made the family wealthy.

When Gertrude was three years old, the Steins... (read entire post and see pictures)...

Conan Clip 072611

Comedy bit: Lord Voldemort's Life is Getting Back to Normal.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Conan Clip 072511

Mondays are Fan Correction Day, and this clip shows the rift between Andy and Conan.

Lectern versus Podium

Jasper Say 072611

To get somewhere, I need the mindset to take me there, and I gotta get rid of the roadblock thoughts.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Green River Now Ebook

In 1938, people had no fears of ghosts. This was the Great Depression. Fear was empty pockets and empty stomachs, but for the men of Jardonn Smith's Green River, working a Highway 66 project in the WPA meant a full-time job and steady wages. Sure, there's a disgruntled spirit living under the river bridge near their camp, but the only question they have is, "Whose willie will he go for next?"

GREEN RIVER is now up on the publisher's web site MLR PRESS, along with a text excerpt beginning the book.

See a picture of the actual river bridge and the spirit living under it on my GREEN RIVER page at Jardonn's Erotic Text excerpts are there, plus the Green River candle made especially for this story.

Jasper Say 072211

The foundation, cornerstone, should be just that. Stone. Resentment, anger, the need to get even, all are sand, and all will fall down.

Conan Clip 072111

Comedy bit: Hand Vagina Getting a Lot of Work

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Conan Clip 072011

Stand-up comedy from Myq Kaplan

Jasper Say 072111

The problem with clinging to material, wordly possessions is that if one or more are altered or taken, it really messes with your head. Aim higher.

Amos Lassen Reads Jardonn

Two books in one week, as a matter of fact, and it's always rewarding to get the perspective of a man who has read thousands.

First up, Danube Divide.

Snippet from the review: The plot is given to us through alternating narrators, something that is now becoming very popular. Mix that with Jardonn Smith’s wonderful use of language and excellent plot with larger than life characters and you get a really good read.


Next, Let's Get Medieval.

Snippet from the review: Jardonn Smith knows bow to tell a story and every time I pick one of his books up, I am amazed at the diversity of themes, characters and settings. In “Let’s Get Medieval”, we get two Jardonn Smith stories with two different settings and two different emotional responses.


Thanks, Amos!

More info on both books, along with text and audio excerpts, are at the Jardonn/Jasper site's book page, Jardonn's Erotic

The main page for Amos's site: Reviews by Amos Lassen.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Conan Clip 071911

It's music by the Tedeschi Trucks Band.

Jasper Say 072011

It is not your duty to do something that is beyond your reach or beyond your strength. You know your limits on this day. You will know them tomorrow. Only you can judge.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Jasper Say 071811

Changing the outside is easy, but vulnerable to theft and immediately depreciative. Changing the inside takes vigilence, but is permanently yours, qualitative, and the outside changes with it... a kill two birds with one stone kind of thing.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Jasper Say 071411

Your free will is a Divine faculty. It has its place in a spiritual life. Alone, it is merely exertion doomed to failure, but when combined with a spiritual application it is the recipe for success.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

JJ Said 071311


Astronauts, they are, trying to figure out where on Earth they've crashed down. Dummies. Who said this was Earth?

A short conversation from Jasper McCutcheon's book, Celestial Bodies of the Hairy Gorilla-Men

"Never mind," says Claude, as he and Rod look back at the bubbles foaming up where their capsule used to be. "Too bad we didn't put on some clothes before that thing sank.

"Feeling vulnerable in your skivvies, Claude?" chortles Rod.

"They ain't skivvies, they're NASA-issued boxers," Claude puffs up his chest. "And anybody wants to try something's gonna get a knuckle sandwich." He strikes a boxer's pose, meaty fists ready to fly.

"Come on," prods Rod. "Let's follow the stream feeding this lake and see where it takes us. I got a feeling we're in Utah, or maybe California.

"You're in command," states Claude. "Lead on."

The stream heads toward a mountain gap, and as they approach the gorge, they spot a group of people in a pool, waterfall streaming down a rock wall.

"Man, they're naked as can be," notes Claude.

"Must be beatnicks or something," Rod concludes. "Think they'll let us join them?"

"Don't know. What I'm wondering is if them ladies are the screwing kind," Claude slobbers. "Something about wet titties drives me wild."

"Especially after six years of sleeping," adds Rod. "See any kids with 'em?"


"Then I'd say they're fuckable. Let's go."

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

Frothing Authors: Wheels of Locomotion

Frothing Authors: Wheels of Locomotion: "By the beginning of the Twentieth Century, steam locomotives on U.S. railroads were huge. We are talking 100 feet long or better, with weigh..."

Friday, July 8, 2011

frequently felt*: Dildo sport

frequently felt*: Dildo sport: "Dildo Sport from Paulilu Productions on Vimeo ."

It's New Release Day at MLR Press

Two short story ebooks from William Maltese and his Boys Reformatory Series.

Alan and Joey

Gay erotic fiction, Maltese-style. Hot!

JJ Said 070811

It's lust at first bite, as railroad detective Gaither Hollis interviews a witness, locomotive engineer, Wilton Zukel.

"Your supper's getting cold. Want me to feed you?"

"You'll have to, unless you're going to take off the cuffs."

"No, I think I'll keep you like you are."

"How long you going to keep slobbering on me? Biting on me?"

"Until your pecker calms down, or until you take your free hand off the rail, or until I get tired of tormenting you. I guess I kind of like you."

"Really? Why? I mean, look at me. I ain't exactly what you'd call a Rudy Valentino."

"Yes, well, he's old news, isn't he? King Kong's the big hit now. That's you, Wilton Zukel. A man-sized King Kong. I don't know if you're man or animal, so I'll treat you like the gorilla until I figure you out."

from the Great Depression-era novel, GRIT, by Jardonn Smith and William Maltese.

Happy Birthday, Ringo!

Thursday, July 7. Want to know how old? Check out the superb post at one of my favorite sites:

The Hair Hall of Fame

And be sure to check out some of the funny comments.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Amos Lassen and Furlough Bridge

Yes-sir, looks like Amos Lassen is on a Jardonn kick of late. His review of my short story ebook, Furlough Bridge tells the world that Wilton Zukel and Gaither Hollis, who first appear in GRIT, my 1930's novel written with William Maltese which Amos reviewed yesterday, drop in for a three-way with Forrest Barton, main man in Furlough Bridge.

Thank you, Amos Lassen.

Yours truly,

frequently felt*: Welcome!

frequently felt*: Welcome!: "- and the Frequently Felt family continues to grow: let's have a firm, wet, arousing welcome to two brand new editors and contributors:   J..."

Amos Lassen and GRIT

I'm always happy to see when Amos Lassen has read and reviewed one of my books. This time, it's GRIT, the Dirty Thirties, erotic manlove novel written by William Maltese and me.

Reviews by Amos Lassen

to see Amos's take on our book.

meine kleine fabrik: Wallace Wood: The Survivors

meine kleine fabrik: Wallace Wood: The Survivors

It is a picture deserving a multiple-minute stare, and it relates to Jasper Say 070511.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Jasper Say 070511

Since we are mental beings, changing environment alone does no good. Environment is physical. Change the mentality first, and the environment will adapt to the improvement.

Monday, July 4, 2011

JJ Say 070411

Obviously, things weren't going as planned. Chester Patek should've been knocked out or near to it long ago. He should have been completely subdued, stripped down and bent over one of the cases so Marty could toss his salad. Didn't look to me like that was gonna happen anytime soon. In fact, from what I could see from my watch at the entryway, Chester might end up butt-fucking every one of them before all was said and done.

That man's fortitude turned me on, but Marty's next move turned my stomach.

He reached into a shelf. Brought out a home-made weapon he had hidden in there. A shank, the glint of its metal catching the light and leaving no doubts. Marty intended to maim the guy. Or kill him. That Marty's a low-down piece of shit. Like four on one wasn't enough.

Well, that didn't sit well with me. Not one bit. Wouldn't that just be the crapolas? Me taking a murder rap because those four weren't bad-ass enough to take out one man with their fists and feet?

* * * * *

tentative title: The Tough Nut

Friday, July 1, 2011

Jasper Say 070111

Here's a challenge: Stop thinking about Pat Robertson. Instead, pray for those who are duped by him. Pray for those who hate him so badly they unknowingly connect themselves to him. And then let's forget him altogether.